4th monthsary.
grabe noh? wala lang.
di naman sa di ko inexpect, but di ko lang nararamdaman. wait, before you misinterpret what i said, let me explain. di ko feel in the sense na, 4 months na pala kami. eh kasi, our love is like parang kahapon lang naging kami kasi consistent ung lambingan at sweetness namin. it seems like it was just yesterday when she finally answered my heart's plea.
but looking back, matagal na kami ni Andrea. "kami" na way before pa, di lang namin alam. when we thought that we were only friends, we were much more pala. so much more than friends. what we had was special, really special. and it took us a while to realize it.
lapit na kaming mag-1 year na magkakilala. i forgot the exact date, kasi matagal ko na siyang laging nakikita sa mga fanpages, at parang biglaan lang din ung closeness namin. it was like we were friends all along.
bakit kami umabot ng 4 months kahit we are a thousand miles apart? simple. we love each other so much. distance isn't really a problem for both of us.
bakit ko mahal si Andrea?
bakit nga ba? marami akong reasons eh. pero i think ung reason tlga na nag stand out above all others is because mahal nya din ako. let me explain further.
minahal pa din nya ako kahit may iba akong mahal. minahal pa din nya ako at hindi nya ako binitawan even though i was pushing her away. she gave me everything, 100% of her, kahit "as friends" lang ang naibigay ko sa kanya (at that time). ang sama ko noh? i know if you're reading this you'll be like "putanginang robert yan sarap ingudngod ung mukha nya sa suka." oo, i admit. gago ako. pero hindi na ngayon.
after seeing all those things happening in front of me, na realize ko na mahal ako ni andrea at mahal ko siya. actually, matagal ko na siyang mahal. unconsciously lang. pero dahil sa love at effort nya, she was able to help me see what i had failed to see for a very long time. thank you, Andrea. and sorry din.
but the important thing is, kami na. now and forever (amen. lol)
4 months have passed since naging official na kame, and a lot of stuffs have happened. may mga bad stuff at may mga good stuff din. konti lang ung mga bad stuff, pero meron pa din.di yan mawawala. it's more like a test. and we, andrea and i, have successfully passed the tests and challenges that we encountered.
pero it doesn't stop there, no. we still have a lifetime to go and there will be more happy events that are going to happen and more trials, and suffering. but we will deal with it as we always have. together. :)
approximately 4 months ago, we made a promise to each other. and that was to love each other with all of our heart, mind and soul. we always did, and we will always do.
to andrea, i know you will be reading this in a few hours. i just want you to know that these past few months and almost a year of knowing you, i have never been happier with anyone. ever. thank you so much for always being there for me. even though im far away, i always make sure you never feel really alone. i have proven myself and i never broke my promise, and i don't intend to. i will never find anyone else. well, my heart won't. i will never leave you for my love is too strong for any fight that we might and will encounter in the future. i love you, forever and always.
"11.21.10 you are my baby love. im different, i'll prove it to you."
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
je t'aime
it has been a very long time since I've posted something here; 5 months to be exact. i confess myself disappointed.
disappointed because i have not the effort to post something. i would write something and after a while, it would be left on the drafts. forever on the "would-be" posts list. i don't know, maybe im just too lazy to finish anything. and i feel guilty because i used to be a really good writer. but now, i dont think i will be what i used to be; forever overshadowed by my past.
it's not only me that get's affected, but also my girlfriend who is an avid fan and reader of my blog. and i hope i could muster enough strength and determination to finish this post before she arrives from work.
this is for you, Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau. :') <3
everyone looks for love. may it be gays, priests, children, or even old people. as for me, i was looking for love far and wide. but i never knew love was close by. so close, actually. that i almost let her slip off my hands and lose my chance, my future, with her.
it was the summer of 2010, my ex-girlfriend finally terminated all forms of contact with me after 6 bittersweet months of our relationship, plus another 7 months of being "friends". it was a really tough time for me but i knew there was no hope but to give up.
so i started mingling with my other crushes. note that i am a very choosy person, so there were only a few of them. very few, in fact.
i met andrea in a fanpage called "Trashtalk On". it was in the middle of the summer, after my birthday and everyone was looking for ways to kill and/or pass the time. and the latest rave at that time was spending time lurking and meeting other people in fanpages. i was a "pioneer" myself in the fanpage, but little did i know, andrea was too. only, she wasn't that active anymore.
but then, as fate intended, we "met". i forgot who added who, but we became friends. i was shocked why because knowing andrea, she wouldn't add just anyone. she would only add her friends and other people she knew. weirdly enough, i wasn't part of any category. we became friends on facebook but to each other, we were complete strangers.
i changed my network from Sun to Globe, for the sole purpose of contacting my facebook friends (most of them Globe) and chasing another girl, not andrea. i also gave andrea my number, and at that time, i didn't know that i had made the best decision of my life.
naturally, we flirted through texting and stuff. then one night, she called.
andrea's voice was so cute. i never expected her to have such a beautiful voice. it was a good feeling, hearing the voice of someone whom you havent seen before. at that time, i had fallen in love with her voice. i just didn't know it yet.
anyway, moving on to the other girl.
my infatuation didn't last though. i gave up on her and instead chased her sister. i have a lot of reasons to, and none if which i shall discuss here.
i had fallen in love with girl # 2. of course, i haven't forgotten about andrea. we haven't texted in a week, and i was such an asshole for not texting her. anyway, at this point, i was already confused. not with my gender, but with my feelings. i like andrea, but i don't know. i think i like girl # 2 more.
so there it was, i was really inlove with girl # 2 even though she had many suitors, not just me. after what seemed like a long time of waiting, my efforts were futile as i discovered she "loved" someone else. i doubt she ever loved me at all.
throughout my heart-aching ordeal, there was just one person who was with me whenever i needed help. yes, you guessed right. she was andrea. andrea was ALWAYS, and i mean ALWAYS there for me. i could feel her pain, she loved me even though i loved someone else. she still chose me over her ex boyfriend of 10 years. if that isn't love, then i don't know what is. i just wished i had realized sooner. but the important thing is, we finally fell in each other's arms.
but we weren't official yet. we remained friends and then bestfriends (and a good one at that) she surprised me by sending me a love letter and a pair of the best shoes in the world, Toms. that only made me love her more. i did not love her because she sent me gifts and stuff (it did help though) but i loved her because of her thinking about sending something. it's the thought that counts :)
so not long after that, we decided we should see each other. it wasn't easy though, for we were living on different ends of the Philippines. but we made it possible. nothing is impossible for us. <3 our love was greater than any doubt and any obstacle that we encountered. and on November 20, 2010. we finally met eachother. we were frozen, star-strucked at first for we had never expected eachother to be very good looking. and on November 21, 2011, we finally made it official. it was in the middle of a petty fight and i wanted to surprise her. she almost ruined everything because at first she didn't believe me. but then she did and we have never been happier. :')
i admit, our relationship isn't easy for it was a long distance relationship. but we always find ways to communicate with each other and solve each other's problems. well, basically our relationship isn't really that hard. i don't know why, maybe it was because we were really made for eachother.
we had a lot of bumps along the way, but we managed to get back on our feet and continue our lives as one.
then we saw each other again on Feb. 18, 2011. she stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. it was arguably the best date of our lives. <3 although we fought a little, it didn't stop us from having fun and spending our time with each other.
we also had major fights, 1 each if i could say so myself. what made it a major fight was because of the fact that we could have broken up. but we still chose to stay. first was because of the incident on Feb. 6, 2011. i shall not discuss details here, but it was Andrea's wake up call. we learned a lot of things, mostly life lessons. hopefully, we could learn them and use them to our advantage next time .
2nd, was today in fact. March 16, 2011. we almost broke up. i was really this close to losing her. it was my fault. and it served as my wake up call. the wounds are still fresh, and i admit, i am still scared. but i have faith in andrea and i know that she will never leave me. no matter what happens.
we all need wake up calls. God gives us those to remind us of what we are fighting for. what we are living for and what we are destined for. as i mentioned earlier, each of us has atleast 1 wake up call. (1 is enough, trust me) and we will learn from these mistakes to improve our relationship.
i thank God for the wake up call. if it were not for him, i would have feared the worst.
i love you, andrea. and i will never stop loving you. i may meet a lot of girls in the future, but no one comes close to you. i will never fall in love with someone else and my heart wont look for anyone else. the next girl i will love and care for will be our daughter, Robine. <3 i love you so much nanay, mommy, uyab, baby. lovey dovey, kyoot kyoooot. advanced happy 4 monthsary. :')
4 months na tayo baby! :') it seems it was only yesterday when i gave you my cellphone number :') i love you so much. naiiyak nanaman ako while writing this. ehhh, bakit ba :') i love you so much tlga. im sorry for all my faults and shortcomings. i have learned my lessons :( i love you. konting tiis na lang baby :') we will finally have our dream of having a family together. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you! :') :*
hugs&kisses. forever and for always. 11.21.10
disappointed because i have not the effort to post something. i would write something and after a while, it would be left on the drafts. forever on the "would-be" posts list. i don't know, maybe im just too lazy to finish anything. and i feel guilty because i used to be a really good writer. but now, i dont think i will be what i used to be; forever overshadowed by my past.
it's not only me that get's affected, but also my girlfriend who is an avid fan and reader of my blog. and i hope i could muster enough strength and determination to finish this post before she arrives from work.
this is for you, Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau. :') <3
everyone looks for love. may it be gays, priests, children, or even old people. as for me, i was looking for love far and wide. but i never knew love was close by. so close, actually. that i almost let her slip off my hands and lose my chance, my future, with her.
it was the summer of 2010, my ex-girlfriend finally terminated all forms of contact with me after 6 bittersweet months of our relationship, plus another 7 months of being "friends". it was a really tough time for me but i knew there was no hope but to give up.
so i started mingling with my other crushes. note that i am a very choosy person, so there were only a few of them. very few, in fact.
i met andrea in a fanpage called "Trashtalk On". it was in the middle of the summer, after my birthday and everyone was looking for ways to kill and/or pass the time. and the latest rave at that time was spending time lurking and meeting other people in fanpages. i was a "pioneer" myself in the fanpage, but little did i know, andrea was too. only, she wasn't that active anymore.
but then, as fate intended, we "met". i forgot who added who, but we became friends. i was shocked why because knowing andrea, she wouldn't add just anyone. she would only add her friends and other people she knew. weirdly enough, i wasn't part of any category. we became friends on facebook but to each other, we were complete strangers.
i changed my network from Sun to Globe, for the sole purpose of contacting my facebook friends (most of them Globe) and chasing another girl, not andrea. i also gave andrea my number, and at that time, i didn't know that i had made the best decision of my life.
naturally, we flirted through texting and stuff. then one night, she called.
andrea's voice was so cute. i never expected her to have such a beautiful voice. it was a good feeling, hearing the voice of someone whom you havent seen before. at that time, i had fallen in love with her voice. i just didn't know it yet.
anyway, moving on to the other girl.
my infatuation didn't last though. i gave up on her and instead chased her sister. i have a lot of reasons to, and none if which i shall discuss here.
i had fallen in love with girl # 2. of course, i haven't forgotten about andrea. we haven't texted in a week, and i was such an asshole for not texting her. anyway, at this point, i was already confused. not with my gender, but with my feelings. i like andrea, but i don't know. i think i like girl # 2 more.
so there it was, i was really inlove with girl # 2 even though she had many suitors, not just me. after what seemed like a long time of waiting, my efforts were futile as i discovered she "loved" someone else. i doubt she ever loved me at all.
throughout my heart-aching ordeal, there was just one person who was with me whenever i needed help. yes, you guessed right. she was andrea. andrea was ALWAYS, and i mean ALWAYS there for me. i could feel her pain, she loved me even though i loved someone else. she still chose me over her ex boyfriend of 10 years. if that isn't love, then i don't know what is. i just wished i had realized sooner. but the important thing is, we finally fell in each other's arms.
but we weren't official yet. we remained friends and then bestfriends (and a good one at that) she surprised me by sending me a love letter and a pair of the best shoes in the world, Toms. that only made me love her more. i did not love her because she sent me gifts and stuff (it did help though) but i loved her because of her thinking about sending something. it's the thought that counts :)
so not long after that, we decided we should see each other. it wasn't easy though, for we were living on different ends of the Philippines. but we made it possible. nothing is impossible for us. <3 our love was greater than any doubt and any obstacle that we encountered. and on November 20, 2010. we finally met eachother. we were frozen, star-strucked at first for we had never expected eachother to be very good looking. and on November 21, 2011, we finally made it official. it was in the middle of a petty fight and i wanted to surprise her. she almost ruined everything because at first she didn't believe me. but then she did and we have never been happier. :')
i admit, our relationship isn't easy for it was a long distance relationship. but we always find ways to communicate with each other and solve each other's problems. well, basically our relationship isn't really that hard. i don't know why, maybe it was because we were really made for eachother.
we had a lot of bumps along the way, but we managed to get back on our feet and continue our lives as one.
then we saw each other again on Feb. 18, 2011. she stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. it was arguably the best date of our lives. <3 although we fought a little, it didn't stop us from having fun and spending our time with each other.
we also had major fights, 1 each if i could say so myself. what made it a major fight was because of the fact that we could have broken up. but we still chose to stay. first was because of the incident on Feb. 6, 2011. i shall not discuss details here, but it was Andrea's wake up call. we learned a lot of things, mostly life lessons. hopefully, we could learn them and use them to our advantage next time .
2nd, was today in fact. March 16, 2011. we almost broke up. i was really this close to losing her. it was my fault. and it served as my wake up call. the wounds are still fresh, and i admit, i am still scared. but i have faith in andrea and i know that she will never leave me. no matter what happens.
we all need wake up calls. God gives us those to remind us of what we are fighting for. what we are living for and what we are destined for. as i mentioned earlier, each of us has atleast 1 wake up call. (1 is enough, trust me) and we will learn from these mistakes to improve our relationship.
i thank God for the wake up call. if it were not for him, i would have feared the worst.
i love you, andrea. and i will never stop loving you. i may meet a lot of girls in the future, but no one comes close to you. i will never fall in love with someone else and my heart wont look for anyone else. the next girl i will love and care for will be our daughter, Robine. <3 i love you so much nanay, mommy, uyab, baby. lovey dovey, kyoot kyoooot. advanced happy 4 monthsary. :')
4 months na tayo baby! :') it seems it was only yesterday when i gave you my cellphone number :') i love you so much. naiiyak nanaman ako while writing this. ehhh, bakit ba :') i love you so much tlga. im sorry for all my faults and shortcomings. i have learned my lessons :( i love you. konting tiis na lang baby :') we will finally have our dream of having a family together. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you! :') :*
hugs&kisses. forever and for always. 11.21.10
Friday, October 22, 2010
my new OS :D
i had been using windows almost all my entire life. its not that i dont like windows, but i wanted something new. something unique. something out of the ordinary.
debian wallpaper
domo-kun wallpaper
this is my google, my master piece <3
i needed change.
it all started one boring night, we were tal
king with my friend (kevin paul p. mabul), stalking facebook accounts, talking about tekken, etc. he invited me to switch to Linux. at first, i wasnt interested and i didnt like changing my OS because of the work, hassle, additional downloads, and lots and lots and LOTS of configuring to do. it took him a long time to convince me, but in the end i agreed. after all, i wa
nted something new.
he showed me the list of linux OS's and we talked about each and every one of them. i asked a lot of questions, but he didn't mind. i asked him what he recommended and he gave me 2.
for low RAM usage, he recommended linux MINT 9 LXDE. for more user-friendly features, linux MINT 9 KDE
i didnt really mind then the "user-friendly factor of LINUX MINT 9 KDE so naturally i choosed LINUX MINT 9 LXDE for its low RAM usage as i had only 1GB of ram :|
this is my LINUX MINT 9 LXDE :D i like it for it's cool, clean and suave look. :3 and most of all, it only consumes approximately 200-400mb of RAM. :D 4 desktops, the ability to minimize windows, showing only the title bar (which is COOL) and some other shit :D although, i gotta admit it is a little bit complicated to use. its not that im not used to linux (but really, im not used to linux) but some stuff are really confusing .
tada! :D this is my LINUX MINT 9 GNOME :3 it became my instant favorite because of its light color, user friendly shit, and all that jazz :3 it still has 4 desktops and consumes more RAM than LXDE :3
as you can see from the picture, i have conky enabled. conky is the statistic shit at the left side of my desktop :3
the other faces of my LINUX MINT 9 GNOME :3
debian wallpaperdomo-kun wallpaperBONUS :D
this is my google, my master piece <3so thanks to my friend, i have these awesome stuff. without him, i wouldnt linux now. no regrets :)
Microsoft can give you windows, but Linux can give you the whole house.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
while i was away..
where shall i start? uhm..
i woke up very early.. like, 5. just so i can ask permission from my mom. i didn't really tell that it's overnight. i just said that il be out with friends on the beach. i thought she wouldnt let me go because she told that the weather isnt good (which was true, due to a dropical depression in northern luzon) and she was frowning. i told her that it was still in the afternoon. so she rode the car without another word.
silence means yes, i suppose. so, yay for me :D
then i went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later. the agreement was 1pm and it was almost one so i took a taxi. >.> but when i got there, kam, josef and nico were at domain (an internet cafe beside dunkin, our meeting place) and they were playing. after a while, i played too. we played generals (in which i lost, just because my partner left the game) company of heroes (in which i was a newbie, yet i easily got along) and counter strike ( i ruled, literally. with 105 kills) "EXECUTION IS A BITCH"
*cough* anyway, moving on. :3
hours and hours passed by and then it rained hard. and we were still the ones present, no signs of the others. so kam called steve, and told us that we would be sleeping in their house. but we had to wait, because he was still in malaybalay (DEFINITELY not his house) and we really had to wait a long time because malaybalay is like an hour drive or more. so we waited and it became night. steve called again and said that we should go to their house ahead. so we did. it took us about 30+ minutes and we walked from the corner to their house. after that, we went out again, bought some food (lechon manok) and pancit canton was readily available in steve's house. we ate with much gusto as we were hungry (especially me, because i didn't eat my lunch) :O
so we watched tv, played computer and played tekken. we played tekken a lot, actually nonstop. but of course, we had short breaks in between. kam installed a new OS in my laptop, LINUX MINT :> tis soooooo cool! (imma make a post about this later) as he had no experience with the LINUX MINT, we were experimenting with lots of stuff :D so basically, i was kam's guinea pig XD
and then we watched THE BIG BANG THEORY. personally, i enjoyed it very much. not just because the girl was freakingly hot (and i mean, REALLY REALLY HOT) but it was funny too :D with all the nerd humor and sexiness, it was a WIN. (damn that girl is sooo fucking hot <3)
and after that we were just doing our own thing. i was using my laptop, steve was playing his computer, josef was behind me, labor was listening to music and kam was playing tekken.
i was the last one who slept, and i wasnt really sleepy back then. it just goes to show that i have an abnormal sleeping pattern XD
and in case you were wondering...
no, we didnt drink. :| how sad *sniff* the stores were already closed by the time we decided to drink. :( what a loss..
so i woke up at 8in the morning, my parents texted me. they told me to go home early.
WTF RIGHT? as in, WHAT THE FUCK.
im tired, sleepy and they want me to go home early? im with friends and i only go out rarely, what did i do to deserve this? then again, my very existence is the reason why my parents hate me. *emo*
oh yea, i almost forgot. they told me that when i get home, il have to clean the aquarium.
WTF AGAIN.. :|
im tired and i just got home from a sleepover and they want me to do WHAT? :| fuck my life. the aquarium is about 7ft wide and i cleaned it ALL BY MYSELF. we have a helper, but for what? gahd.. i just scooped 100's of liters of fish shit-contaminated water alone and replaced it with clean water. alone :| and i scrubbed millions and millions of defecated pebbles ALONE. :|
forever alone :( *hugs self*
Sunday, October 17, 2010
-________-
gahd, i have a biiiiig problem >.<
if you read my earlier post, you should know by now that im grounded. well, yea.. something like that. i cant go out with friends anymore. :| OA much. i still haven't recovered from that awful miscarriage of justice :| fuck this and that.. and everything in between >.<
you see, my friends are having this special farewell get together for me. and that will happen tomorrow. it will be an overnight at a beach. supposedly it was today, but i asked it to be moved tomorrow so that everyone will have enough time preparing and asking permission. well, tomorrow's the day. 1pm at dunkin, meeting place.
and i still havent asked permission from my parents. :|
why? im scared and at the same time nervous. i dont know if i would be permitted to go :( i really want to go. GAHD kahit di na nila ko bigyan ng pera okay lang as long as il be able to go. my mom's already sleeping and she has a class tomorrow at 6:30am. i have no choice than to wake up early and ask for permission :( i gave her a big pack of chips ahoy a while a go, hoping it would be enough to bribe her. :| it's bot her favorite, but atleast there's something. i dont know what to do, fuck.
im not problematic, it just happens that this is a big problem and.. oh fuck it, yes i am.
ktnxbye
Saturday, October 16, 2010
GOOD NIGHT :)
the new face of DiSCOMBOBULATED :D
well, this is the new face of DiSCOMBOBULATED. hope you like it ;) im not done yet though, i still have lots to do, like updating the gadgets, design, templates, pictures, etc :) and maybe the URL too! :D maybe i'll change it to www.ikillyou.blogspot.com, depending on the availability :)
so i hope you like it :D
any comments? violent reactions? suggestions? criticisms? feel free to comment :)
it's not how your blog looks, but it's what's inside it that counts.
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