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Life sucks.

this is a bad monday for me. nothing will make it better. and this bv-ness will probably continue for i don't know how long. wala akong pake. bv na kung bv. di naman importante.

lose-lose situation. there is no way i can win. grounded na nga ako sa computer, nawala ka pa sa buhay ko. astig. tapos kanina habang papunta kaming grocery, while nag grocery at while going ako ng school, non stop sermon sa akin. non stop. sinusumbat lahat ng mga mali ko sa buhay. lahat. nahihirapan sila sa akin. alam ko naman yon. hindi nila ako kayang isupport. nawawalan sila ng pera sa akin. they're gving me too much pressure from everything else. ayoko tlga sa lahat na sinusumbatan ako eh. pero wala. every seems to be doing that sa akin. ayoko na.

alam ko naman nagsasacrifice kayo lahat para lang makapag aral ako. pero sana naman isipin nyo na i'm trying my best here. sana naman aware kayo na thankful ako at hindi ko yun binabalewala.

sana naman alam nyo na hindi ko kasalanan ito. kungdi kasalanan nyo. kasalanan ni william kung bakit wala akong tubig lagi. kasalanan ni william kung bakit wala tayong pera. kasalanan nyo kung bakit nagkaganito. everything was easier in the philippines, and it will be always be easier there.

i know i have failed ALL of you. pero please, wag nyong ipagmukha sa akin. pero hindi lang din kayo ang may kasalanan. alam ko kung ano kasalanan ko, sana alam nyo ung sa inyo.

just because nananahimik lang ako dito, hindi ko kayo sinusumbatan, doesn't mean wala kayong kasalana. please lang. oo alam kong nahihirapan kayo. ako din naman. sana naisip nyo yun.

kelan ba ako hihinto sa pagiging malungkot sa state ng buhay ko ngayon? si andrea lang ang nagbibigay ngg kasiyahan sa buhay ko kahit hindi ko magawa the same for her. hindi ko naman tlga alam kung ano ng sinasabi ko dito. kailangan ko lang tlga 'to ilabas.

i'm not giving up on anyone. sana naman walang miscommunication or misunderstanding dito. wala akong iiwanan.

wala akong kausap sa message ko sa taas. this is not meant for anyone. if you are reading this, then consider yourself as the 3rd person.

ikaw, andrea. mahal na mahal kita. sorry sa lahat. alam nating dalawa na nagkulang din ako. sana pasyensyahan mo ako kasi no matter how hard i try, wala. i will never be the best, i will never be perfect. i love you. sana naman kita mo yun. sige, pasok na ako. sana pag uwi ko, may pag uuwian pa ako. sana there's still someone who i can go home to. i need you in my life. pero at the same time, i can't force you to stay kung ayaw mo.

everything is just hell right now, para sa akin. dami kong problema,everything. sabay sabay lahat. pasyensyahan mo ko. un lang.

i love you, andrea.

happy 9th monthsaryyyy maria kenneth andrea villarina tebeau

Dito ko lang 'to ipost :3 ayoko sa tumblr, mas private dito at mas special. :>

haba ng pangalan mo :))

hey youuu. :> happy 9 months! yieee. grabe, ang tagal na natiiiin! lapit ng mag wan maaanth. :"> shet. can't wait. hay.

Anyway,

I just want to say na mahal na mahal kita. Oo, mahal kita. :p Sobrang masaya ao sayo, more than anyone else. kahit minsan topakin ka :))pero that's part of a relationship, diba?

sobrang masaya ako sayo. di mo ba yan maintindihan? ha? :P :))

i love you. :*

sorry din sa mga kasalanan ko sayo T_T di ko naman talaga sinasadya eh. at most of the time, i had no choice :| hope you'll forgive me. :*

Today is our day. well, today and tomorrow. :D

Wala akong pakialam sa iba. walang ken, walang geom. TAYO LANG. TAYO LANG TALAGA. :*

Ako lang ang kailangan mo at ikaw lang din ang kailangan ko.

sorry kung wala akong masyadong masabi.. ehh ayun.. sinasabi ko naman araw araw sayo na maswerte ako. :* :) i love you!

:*

forever.

i have decided to make a post about the concept of being together "forever" whether it's with a friend, girlfriend, family, or spouse.

i have been fascinated by this topic because i have first hand experience with it. actually, everyone has atleast one. we may now know it, but the concept of "forever" is unconsciously a very controversial topic in the sense that many have different views with it.

on the case of love of boyfriends, girlfriends and even friends.

all young adolescents encounter the wonderful feeling of being in love with the opposite sex (or maybe even with the same sex) and that, my friends, is your first step into the real life.

remember when we finally had that special someone all to ourselves? remember your first boyfriend & girlfriend? remember your first friend? of course you do. being someone's first is very special and you can never really get over them once it's over. at first, you think that you guys will last forever and there is nothing in the world that will separate the two of you. admit it, you have all thought of this before. this may be true for very few people who lived happily ever after with their first love.

but that is not always the case for most people.

after the almost-inevitable first breakup, we develop a lust of anger for believing that forever exists and thus, losing faith and belief in the latter. i myself have also lost my faith in "forever", but not anymore. but i will get to that later.

forever? that's not true. that shit only happens in fairy tales. those who are dumb enough to believe in it can kiss my fucking ass. forever is a total lie. it never existed, and it will never exist.

sound familiar? everyone of us, in some point of our lives, will really put the existence of "forever" to the test.

yes, it's hard to move on. but fear not, forever does exist. believe me. but this time, you don't find it. it finds you.

by that, i mean a very, very special someone will come into your life. first, we need to know who he/she is, and the next is never letting go of him/her. yes, sounds hard. but the rewards will be eternally great.

let me share to you my "forever" story, summarized.

a few years back when i finally had a girlfriend, i really thought that she was the one. but we broke up. it was hard, but still i didn't give up. i still believed in it. then came the 2nd, we lasted longer but to no avail. and then came the 3rd, which i was really attached to and wasted almost a year of chasing her after we were gone. i was so caught up with the thought of "forever" is real that i became angry with myself for putting so much trust in it. since then, i don't believe in it anymore.

but one faithful person managed to change that. forever. her name is Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau.

she is my current girlfriend now and she made me believe in forever again. i have a lot of reasons for going back to my old belief, none of which i will elaborate. (yes, im a fucking lazy-ass get the fuck over it.)

my point is, she is that one special person who will prove it to you. who will make you believe in forever again. i have already found mine, time will come when you will finally find yours. so i urge you to never give up. because that special person is waiting. waiting for you.

but how do we know when the right person will appear? you just know.

i would like to thank my girlfriend and soon to be wife, Maria Kenneth Andrea-Villarina for being my number 1 inspiration for my recent posts. i love you so much, thank you for showing me to the right path. thank you for making me believe that forever is true. now that i have found you, i will never let you go. forever21.

Disappoinment... can also lead to a new hope.

yes, i am disappointed. but to whom should i be disappointed other than myself? yes, i am disappointed with myself.

i am disappointed with fact that i can't seem to do things right sometimes. yes, i know i can't do everything the right way but i always seem to try so hard yet my efforts are fruitless.

i know it's not my fault but still, i cant help but feel like shit. i always try really hard to impress or not to disappoint my girlfriend but sometimes i can't do anything about it. mostly it's my parents' fault. she's not mad, but she's also disappointed. not with me, though. and i really don't like it when she feels that way. it really makes my heart ache knowing that i can't do a thing about it.

but it's a good thing my girlfriend is patient and understanding. instead of getting mad at me, she does the complete opposite. she cheers me up because we both know that better days will surely come ahead. i love her so much for being her. :')

i have never been this inlove with a person before. :3

you might say im biased, or im just saying this because im inlove, or im young and i don't have any idea what love is (but seriously if you think im too young then fuck you and your family) or im just saying this to impress my girl, no. i said that because it's true. i mean, what's not to love about her? she is almost perfect. i love her just they way she is and i don't care what other people say.

well, if you have the chance to meet her get to know her more, then you'll know what i mean. she is the best girlfriend out there for me and i firmly believe that Andrea and I will last forever. <3

I don't want to be your first, I just want to be the last.

No doubt being someone’s first is special, but I’d want to be the last one standing, with you. There may be a lot of guys before me but I want to be the last one that truly matters & I’ll be your one & only . Someone will eventually walk into your life & make you realize why it would never work out with anyone else . I want to be the best boyfriend that leaves footsteps in your heart so no matter what, you’ll find your way, back to me . I want to top guys before me & eliminate that possibility of guys stealing my place after me. i love you with all my heart, Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau. i may not be your first, but i will definitely be your last.