forever.

i have decided to make a post about the concept of being together "forever" whether it's with a friend, girlfriend, family, or spouse.

i have been fascinated by this topic because i have first hand experience with it. actually, everyone has atleast one. we may now know it, but the concept of "forever" is unconsciously a very controversial topic in the sense that many have different views with it.

on the case of love of boyfriends, girlfriends and even friends.

all young adolescents encounter the wonderful feeling of being in love with the opposite sex (or maybe even with the same sex) and that, my friends, is your first step into the real life.

remember when we finally had that special someone all to ourselves? remember your first boyfriend & girlfriend? remember your first friend? of course you do. being someone's first is very special and you can never really get over them once it's over. at first, you think that you guys will last forever and there is nothing in the world that will separate the two of you. admit it, you have all thought of this before. this may be true for very few people who lived happily ever after with their first love.

but that is not always the case for most people.

after the almost-inevitable first breakup, we develop a lust of anger for believing that forever exists and thus, losing faith and belief in the latter. i myself have also lost my faith in "forever", but not anymore. but i will get to that later.

forever? that's not true. that shit only happens in fairy tales. those who are dumb enough to believe in it can kiss my fucking ass. forever is a total lie. it never existed, and it will never exist.

sound familiar? everyone of us, in some point of our lives, will really put the existence of "forever" to the test.

yes, it's hard to move on. but fear not, forever does exist. believe me. but this time, you don't find it. it finds you.

by that, i mean a very, very special someone will come into your life. first, we need to know who he/she is, and the next is never letting go of him/her. yes, sounds hard. but the rewards will be eternally great.

let me share to you my "forever" story, summarized.

a few years back when i finally had a girlfriend, i really thought that she was the one. but we broke up. it was hard, but still i didn't give up. i still believed in it. then came the 2nd, we lasted longer but to no avail. and then came the 3rd, which i was really attached to and wasted almost a year of chasing her after we were gone. i was so caught up with the thought of "forever" is real that i became angry with myself for putting so much trust in it. since then, i don't believe in it anymore.

but one faithful person managed to change that. forever. her name is Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau.

she is my current girlfriend now and she made me believe in forever again. i have a lot of reasons for going back to my old belief, none of which i will elaborate. (yes, im a fucking lazy-ass get the fuck over it.)

my point is, she is that one special person who will prove it to you. who will make you believe in forever again. i have already found mine, time will come when you will finally find yours. so i urge you to never give up. because that special person is waiting. waiting for you.

but how do we know when the right person will appear? you just know.

i would like to thank my girlfriend and soon to be wife, Maria Kenneth Andrea-Villarina for being my number 1 inspiration for my recent posts. i love you so much, thank you for showing me to the right path. thank you for making me believe that forever is true. now that i have found you, i will never let you go. forever21.

Disappoinment... can also lead to a new hope.

yes, i am disappointed. but to whom should i be disappointed other than myself? yes, i am disappointed with myself.

i am disappointed with fact that i can't seem to do things right sometimes. yes, i know i can't do everything the right way but i always seem to try so hard yet my efforts are fruitless.

i know it's not my fault but still, i cant help but feel like shit. i always try really hard to impress or not to disappoint my girlfriend but sometimes i can't do anything about it. mostly it's my parents' fault. she's not mad, but she's also disappointed. not with me, though. and i really don't like it when she feels that way. it really makes my heart ache knowing that i can't do a thing about it.

but it's a good thing my girlfriend is patient and understanding. instead of getting mad at me, she does the complete opposite. she cheers me up because we both know that better days will surely come ahead. i love her so much for being her. :')

i have never been this inlove with a person before. :3

you might say im biased, or im just saying this because im inlove, or im young and i don't have any idea what love is (but seriously if you think im too young then fuck you and your family) or im just saying this to impress my girl, no. i said that because it's true. i mean, what's not to love about her? she is almost perfect. i love her just they way she is and i don't care what other people say.

well, if you have the chance to meet her get to know her more, then you'll know what i mean. she is the best girlfriend out there for me and i firmly believe that Andrea and I will last forever. <3

I don't want to be your first, I just want to be the last.

No doubt being someone’s first is special, but I’d want to be the last one standing, with you. There may be a lot of guys before me but I want to be the last one that truly matters & I’ll be your one & only . Someone will eventually walk into your life & make you realize why it would never work out with anyone else . I want to be the best boyfriend that leaves footsteps in your heart so no matter what, you’ll find your way, back to me . I want to top guys before me & eliminate that possibility of guys stealing my place after me. i love you with all my heart, Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau. i may not be your first, but i will definitely be your last.

Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau, there is something i want to tell you..

I’m Going To Marry You Someday…

I knew from the moment we kissed that you are the woman that I would spend the rest of my life with. I have had feelings for other girls, But I have never felt this way before. We have had our challenges in this relationship but we overcame them because of the love we share. We argue all the time and sometimes we even break up, but through everything I never stopped loving you. You truly are too good to be true. I know that I could tell you my deepest secret in this world and you will never repeat it to anyone else. You are like my place of comfort, whenever I’m feeling down. You can say two words and my whole world brightens up. I have faith that we will someday get married and have children together and spend the rest of our lives with each other. And for some reason if we don’t, I want you to know that at this exact moment you mean everything to me. People can say we’re too young to know what love is, but I’ve never seen a man look at a woman the way I look at you. We have something really special together that is way deeper than love. You should know that despite what might happen between us after today, you have my heart.

happy 4th monthsary, baby ko!

4th monthsary.

grabe noh? wala lang.

di naman sa di ko inexpect, but di ko lang nararamdaman. wait, before you misinterpret what i said, let me explain. di ko feel in the sense na, 4 months na pala kami. eh kasi, our love is like parang kahapon lang naging kami kasi consistent ung lambingan at sweetness namin. it seems like it was just yesterday when she finally answered my heart's plea.

but looking back, matagal na kami ni Andrea. "kami" na way before pa, di lang namin alam. when we thought that we were only friends, we were much more pala. so much more than friends. what we had was special, really special. and it took us a while to realize it.

lapit na kaming mag-1 year na magkakilala. i forgot the exact date, kasi matagal ko na siyang laging nakikita sa mga fanpages, at parang biglaan lang din ung closeness namin. it was like we were friends all along.

bakit kami umabot ng 4 months kahit we are a thousand miles apart? simple. we love each other so much. distance isn't really a problem for both of us.

bakit ko mahal si Andrea?

bakit nga ba? marami akong reasons eh. pero i think ung reason tlga na nag stand out above all others is because mahal nya din ako. let me explain further.

minahal pa din nya ako kahit may iba akong mahal. minahal pa din nya ako at hindi nya ako binitawan even though i was pushing her away. she gave me everything, 100% of her, kahit "as friends" lang ang naibigay ko sa kanya (at that time). ang sama ko noh? i know if you're reading this you'll be like "putanginang robert yan sarap ingudngod ung mukha nya sa suka." oo, i admit. gago ako. pero hindi na ngayon.

after seeing all those things happening in front of me, na realize ko na mahal ako ni andrea at mahal ko siya. actually, matagal ko na siyang mahal. unconsciously lang. pero dahil sa love at effort nya, she was able to help me see what i had failed to see for a very long time. thank you, Andrea. and sorry din.

but the important thing is, kami na. now and forever (amen. lol)

4 months have passed since naging official na kame, and a lot of stuffs have happened. may mga bad stuff at may mga good stuff din. konti lang ung mga bad stuff, pero meron pa din.di yan mawawala. it's more like a test. and we, andrea and i, have successfully passed the tests and challenges that we encountered.

pero it doesn't stop there, no. we still have a lifetime to go and there will be more happy events that are going to happen and more trials, and suffering. but we will deal with it as we always have. together. :)

approximately 4 months ago, we made a promise to each other. and that was to love each other with all of our heart, mind and soul. we always did, and we will always do.

to andrea, i know you will be reading this in a few hours. i just want you to know that these past few months and almost a year of knowing you, i have never been happier with anyone. ever. thank you so much for always being there for me. even though im far away, i always make sure you never feel really alone. i have proven myself and i never broke my promise, and i don't intend to. i will never find anyone else. well, my heart won't. i will never leave you for my love is too strong for any fight that we might and will encounter in the future. i love you, forever and always.

"11.21.10 you are my baby love. im different, i'll prove it to you."

je t'aime

it has been a very long time since I've posted something here; 5 months to be exact. i confess myself disappointed.

disappointed because i have not the effort to post something. i would write something and after a while, it would be left on the drafts. forever on the "would-be" posts list. i don't know, maybe im just too lazy to finish anything. and i feel guilty because i used to be a really good writer. but now, i dont think i will be what i used to be; forever overshadowed by my past.

it's not only me that get's affected, but also my girlfriend who is an avid fan and reader of my blog. and i hope i could muster enough strength and determination to finish this post before she arrives from work.

this is for you, Maria Kenneth Andrea Villarina-Tebeau. :') <3

everyone looks for love. may it be gays, priests, children, or even old people. as for me, i was looking for love far and wide. but i never knew love was close by. so close, actually. that i almost let her slip off my hands and lose my chance, my future, with her.

it was the summer of 2010, my ex-girlfriend finally terminated all forms of contact with me after 6 bittersweet months of our relationship, plus another 7 months of being "friends". it was a really tough time for me but i knew there was no hope but to give up.

so i started mingling with my other crushes. note that i am a very choosy person, so there were only a few of them. very few, in fact.

i met andrea in a fanpage called "Trashtalk On". it was in the middle of the summer, after my birthday and everyone was looking for ways to kill and/or pass the time. and the latest rave at that time was spending time lurking and meeting other people in fanpages. i was a "pioneer" myself in the fanpage, but little did i know, andrea was too. only, she wasn't that active anymore.

but then, as fate intended, we "met". i forgot who added who, but we became friends. i was shocked why because knowing andrea, she wouldn't add just anyone. she would only add her friends and other people she knew. weirdly enough, i wasn't part of any category. we became friends on facebook but to each other, we were complete strangers.

i changed my network from Sun to Globe, for the sole purpose of contacting my facebook friends (most of them Globe) and chasing another girl, not andrea. i also gave andrea my number, and at that time, i didn't know that i had made the best decision of my life.

naturally, we flirted through texting and stuff. then one night, she called.

andrea's voice was so cute. i never expected her to have such a beautiful voice. it was a good feeling, hearing the voice of someone whom you havent seen before. at that time, i had fallen in love with her voice. i just didn't know it yet.

anyway, moving on to the other girl.

my infatuation didn't last though. i gave up on her and instead chased her sister. i have a lot of reasons to, and none if which i shall discuss here.

i had fallen in love with girl # 2. of course, i haven't forgotten about andrea. we haven't texted in a week, and i was such an asshole for not texting her. anyway, at this point, i was already confused. not with my gender, but with my feelings. i like andrea, but i don't know. i think i like girl # 2 more.

so there it was, i was really inlove with girl # 2 even though she had many suitors, not just me. after what seemed like a long time of waiting, my efforts were futile as i discovered she "loved" someone else. i doubt she ever loved me at all.

throughout my heart-aching ordeal, there was just one person who was with me whenever i needed help. yes, you guessed right. she was andrea. andrea was ALWAYS, and i mean ALWAYS there for me. i could feel her pain, she loved me even though i loved someone else. she still chose me over her ex boyfriend of 10 years. if that isn't love, then i don't know what is. i just wished i had realized sooner. but the important thing is, we finally fell in each other's arms.

but we weren't official yet. we remained friends and then bestfriends (and a good one at that) she surprised me by sending me a love letter and a pair of the best shoes in the world, Toms. that only made me love her more. i did not love her because she sent me gifts and stuff (it did help though) but i loved her because of her thinking about sending something. it's the thought that counts :)

so not long after that, we decided we should see each other. it wasn't easy though, for we were living on different ends of the Philippines. but we made it possible. nothing is impossible for us. <3 our love was greater than any doubt and any obstacle that we encountered. and on November 20, 2010. we finally met eachother. we were frozen, star-strucked at first for we had never expected eachother to be very good looking. and on November 21, 2011, we finally made it official. it was in the middle of a petty fight and i wanted to surprise her. she almost ruined everything because at first she didn't believe me. but then she did and we have never been happier. :')

i admit, our relationship isn't easy for it was a long distance relationship. but we always find ways to communicate with each other and solve each other's problems. well, basically our relationship isn't really that hard. i don't know why, maybe it was because we were really made for eachother.

we had a lot of bumps along the way, but we managed to get back on our feet and continue our lives as one.

then we saw each other again on Feb. 18, 2011. she stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. it was arguably the best date of our lives. <3 although we fought a little, it didn't stop us from having fun and spending our time with each other.

we also had major fights, 1 each if i could say so myself. what made it a major fight was because of the fact that we could have broken up. but we still chose to stay. first was because of the incident on Feb. 6, 2011. i shall not discuss details here, but it was Andrea's wake up call. we learned a lot of things, mostly life lessons. hopefully, we could learn them and use them to our advantage next time .

2nd, was today in fact. March 16, 2011. we almost broke up. i was really this close to losing her. it was my fault. and it served as my wake up call. the wounds are still fresh, and i admit, i am still scared. but i have faith in andrea and i know that she will never leave me. no matter what happens.

we all need wake up calls. God gives us those to remind us of what we are fighting for. what we are living for and what we are destined for. as i mentioned earlier, each of us has atleast 1 wake up call. (1 is enough, trust me) and we will learn from these mistakes to improve our relationship.

i thank God for the wake up call. if it were not for him, i would have feared the worst.

i love you, andrea. and i will never stop loving you. i may meet a lot of girls in the future, but no one comes close to you. i will never fall in love with someone else and my heart wont look for anyone else. the next girl i will love and care for will be our daughter, Robine. <3 i love you so much nanay, mommy, uyab, baby. lovey dovey, kyoot kyoooot. advanced happy 4 monthsary. :')

4 months na tayo baby! :') it seems it was only yesterday when i gave you my cellphone number :') i love you so much. naiiyak nanaman ako while writing this. ehhh, bakit ba :') i love you so much tlga. im sorry for all my faults and shortcomings. i have learned my lessons :( i love you. konting tiis na lang baby :') we will finally have our dream of having a family together. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you! :') :*

hugs&kisses. forever and for always. 11.21.10